tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51642462012-02-16T18:24:59.337+08:00just in case i forget to remember...jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.comBlogger381100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-32834511241691682382010-04-26T05:11:00.000+08:002010-04-26T05:11:11.518+08:00

so you see, they all die. * handful of cheerios and a mug of inspiration that smells of cider and mothballs. no milk to quench your thirst, old friend! i am walking the cobbled streets with candled street lamps. why are you all so tiny when i need someone to climb over? where are the footstools and blackhorsed coach when i need to be travelling? i am the soothsayer you once said will be born. i

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-45406969306276017152010-01-06T20:55:00.000+08:002010-01-06T20:55:03.570+08:00

strangerer and strangerer 17 weeks and counting. i should be sleeping. still there. still the same. still empty. i've stopped writing when you stopped reading. or maybe i stopped when you started. i don't know. i don't remember. somehow, when i start, i know i won't stop. it feels like i'm seconds away from barfing. you know that feeling? but somehow i know that it'll just be lastweek's dinner

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-83729418032810406272007-01-05T17:47:00.000+08:002008-12-09T08:34:42.041+08:00

a grey mouse runs across the driveway into the shrubbery. hides amongst its brown feet. becomes an invisible rock. its rapid heartbeat and bright onyx eyes its only giveaway. above it, skinny fingers hold up white scented clouds that occasionally rain yellow dusty ashes over the grey mouserock.a pale girl sits on a curb with shiny shellacked surface. hides in a forest of smoke. becomes a

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-88908426563510889792006-11-29T08:14:00.000+08:002006-11-29T08:27:53.570+08:00

because i certainly haven't been able to speak any of latemore @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/95436238@N00/

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1158574605294692112006-09-18T18:13:00.001+08:002010-04-20T17:13:32.991+08:00

early saturday morning [6am] a colleague asked me along for a smoke outside the office building. what started off as a conversation about wild chickens in the oil palm plantation around us ended up about spirits and ghosts. he told me that there have been more sightings lately - an old man in the control room [he asked the guy who works in there why he's hiding up in our department when he could

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1158224038856397132006-09-14T16:20:00.000+08:002006-09-14T16:54:00.090+08:00

perhaps they don't tell you things anymore because you don't deserve to know anything.

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1152600561870714582006-07-11T14:42:00.000+08:002006-07-11T15:03:39.846+08:00

the sky looks bigger and trees, blacker when i am on a swing with my feet scraping the sand each time i fall back to the earth. rusted wood look like corinthian pillars holding up the space between the ground and the sky. i swing in that space between; back and forth, back and forth as if my life would wither away if istopped - teasingly at the trees that spread out their charcoal fingers as if

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1152600125513475222006-07-11T14:40:00.000+08:002006-07-11T14:42:05.513+08:00

... and i watch them tumbledry until they're soft and fluffy and static-yif phonecalls did not cost so much, i would narrate my thoughts to you in utter monotony through the receiver so that you could hear them while i tangle my fingers around the cords. then you can cast your own net of emotions and expressions over my thoughts so that you could ake them yours. and that would save me a million

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1152600014319687982006-07-11T14:36:00.000+08:002006-07-11T14:40:14.330+08:00

entries reread seem ancient now. they seem as if written by someone else; barely evoking faint memories of what they really mean - all the fancy caterwauling words that seem like intricate henna tattoos on the palms of indian brides. i had so much to let out. my alphabet soup was thick and gravylike. and now, when faced with something new, i am utterly speechless. yet i have been shown such an

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1128004984672023392005-09-29T22:07:00.000+08:002005-09-29T22:43:04.690+08:00

i don't remember the last time i posted on this. *checks* early august. and in these two months, i've lived and died and woken up to find myself in an array of possitions, some not humanly possible. [get your head out of the gutter]most of which by now, without the help of cryptic journal entries on livejournal, i have forgotten.i'm starting to feel like i should start packing up to leave.

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1123485640544827282005-08-08T15:07:00.000+08:002005-08-08T15:20:40.550+08:00

smoke hung on her skin like a wet veil. her eyes were wide with awe. with wonderment. with fear. can nobody see her stumbling through the thickets? can they not see the tall reeds trembling like a body hanging from the gallows as she touched them? can they not smell her? her movements seemed to her to reverberate across the marsh. she felt like she was a walking elephant parade, stomping down

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1122897515394463212005-08-01T19:41:00.000+08:002005-08-01T19:58:35.496+08:00

i have it all - the junk food. the coffee. the cigarettes. the DVDs. the gameboy. the bed. the airconditioned room. everything i need to be a certifiable slob for the day.i need a hole in the wall that i can scream into. where are you when i need you to make me laugh?OMG... hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha..... nothing, really. i just needed to find something to laugh at and failing to do so, i guess

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1120747226529059722005-07-07T22:06:00.000+08:002005-07-07T22:40:26.533+08:00

bali was lovely. there's a sense of peace on that island. and lots of hot surfer dudes whiling their hot june days away by the beach in their bead necklaces, tattoos and boardshorts. the temples were beautiful and the marble statues of ancient balinese deities frozen in what they're remembered for were breathtaking in every angle and light. the people there are content, simple and beautiful [not

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1119376384087228942005-06-22T00:34:00.000+08:002005-06-22T01:53:04.096+08:00

the weather's been nasty. the sun seems to be at her sadomasochistic best, lashing out at us with her leather whip and chains. making us all wish we were naked. Meowr.i am weary from staying up with you after work, lying around aimlessly smoking ourselves stupid over funny movies marathon. and while you indulged yourself in hours of artificial team sports, i lay by your side taking pictures of

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1118885577923736462005-06-16T08:47:00.000+08:002005-06-16T09:32:57.926+08:00

i can't get through the book a friend lent me. it's incredibly light reading but i just feel like i'm robbed of time. :P don't tell her i said that though. it's just not my kind of lifestyle, whatever this book is written about.i need to cry but i can't. i so totally need that bottle of absolut vanilla james bought the other day. drink it all down and perhaps i'll finish crying where i left off

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1117627323399287862005-06-01T19:39:00.000+08:002005-06-01T20:02:03.403+08:00

mum's cooking. that's a good thing. yesterday, she made us chilli crab. why is this a big deal? the last time she made us that was when i was three. well, at least that was the last time i remember eating her chilli crab. THREE. i remember because it was too spicy and i couldn't eat it. oh the frustration! BUT i got to suck on ice, so that was a big plus. for a three-year-old. next mission: to

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1117426788523329792005-05-30T11:09:00.000+08:002005-05-30T12:19:48.536+08:00

the words are clogging up my mind. i am rifling through a mound of questions and my nails are packed with dirt, my fingers black with dirt and sweat. i will seek forever and i still wouldn't be able to find the right words to tell my story. i will have short, unfinished anecdotes. i will have smart one liners. i will never have my story. people will never hear me. this is my folly. my choice. my

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1116894906841744812005-05-24T07:40:00.000+08:002005-05-24T08:42:46.683+08:00

no strings attached, jasmin. is that really a bad thing? stop being so paranoid. the stars in your eyes are fading. you can feel it too. that's why you're afraid.the weekend, by the way, was rather... enlightening. confusing somewhat, but altogether enlightening. it's when you said, under your breath - "what's happening?" that i realised we were walking down the same road. i chose not to answer

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1116532967300439062005-05-20T03:30:00.000+08:002005-05-20T04:06:07.820+08:00

i feel a sudden need to have a large bowl of Honey Stars cereal in cold milk. i miss having that sort of breakfast at any given time of the day. even wheatbix with fresh banana slices.today someone told me that we are soulmates. strangely, i didn't know how to react to that statement, having it being said so nonchalantly it almost sounded as if he was just saying "hey, it's raining". is it safe

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1116063826137629332005-05-14T17:27:00.000+08:002005-05-14T17:43:46.143+08:00

the last time i had pixie stix, i was a six-year-old scientist with einstein's hairdo. i ended up with glasses of colored sugared water sitting before me on the table while i munched slowly on my Wonka Mudsludge and orange chocolate. and i would be up for more than 2 days, watching the blinds of my bedroom window turn a billion shades of blue as day became night became day became night... and i

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1115663905977894082005-05-10T01:35:00.000+08:002005-05-13T05:47:50.386+08:00

... loves a little. live a little. and then die. and then you die all over again.letting muses free is one of the most painful things to do.hi. have you rotted much, lately?this is cheesy, i know. but they're your favourite songs. slightly suicidal i noticed, but yeah.... YOUR favourite songs... not mine. yet they seem to mean something right now:The Drug Don't WorkAll this talk of getting old,

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1115132125526420862005-05-03T21:29:00.000+08:002005-05-03T22:55:25.526+08:00

do not deconstruct. it leaves you feeling scattered... kinda like how your Lego would look if you took it all apart and left them all on the floor. it leaves you feeling somewhat hollow... kinda like oh, you know... the empty Lego box, since all the Lego pieces are on the floor.boys are drama queens. have you noticed that? or have i just been so blessed as to have witnessed two living breathing

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1114475911814978332005-04-26T07:46:00.000+08:002005-04-26T22:12:27.653+08:00

i stare at this window. it's been 17 minutes.i like smoke. i like how it twirls and swirls, making random patterns as it disappears. i like how i can manipulate the patterns by moving the cigarette it's emanating from. just like kaleidascopes, only less colorful and a little more sombre. sombre. that's what it is. i sort of expect an accompaniment of slow lazy music maybe played on a clarinet or

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1113243550510097842005-04-12T01:47:00.000+08:002005-04-12T02:19:10.510+08:00

little boy who cried wolf, i don't think you're ready to know the truth. it'll rip you apart and eat you alive. it'll leave you with nothing but your eyes and heart.i've been craving for a good plate of pasta for ages. i've had some but i still crave it. pile on the parmesan and herbs. i need my stomach filled and my head so heavy from eating that all i can do is loll stupidly in front of an

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1112226941514522082005-03-31T07:32:00.000+08:002005-03-31T08:11:58.160+08:00

green - i thought this blog could use a little change. think of it as a sort of... shopping spree/makeover-to-make-one-feel-better-about-self sort of thing.red and blue - a box of cigarettes and a bottle of pepsi twist. what do you see besides a watercolor rorschach test?yellow and orange - i'll stop smiling when you stop chasing stars.indigo - i fucking LOVE your jeans. and the key ring you let

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1110494845675709552005-03-11T06:41:00.000+08:002005-03-11T18:24:42.643+08:00

one should not untie shoelaces or undo presents because you can never put them back exactly the way they used to be.still, i'm strangely awake and happy despite everything. i sit and listen to music without listening to the lyrics. there is no point in unbuilding some things sometimes. they look better in their plastic shrinkwrap. perfect.Daily Forecast for March 11, 2005It's just your nature to

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1107477289294865182005-02-04T08:03:00.000+08:002005-02-04T08:34:49.293+08:00

since the past few hours have been somewhat shitty, let's just focus on the simple and nice things that people tend to overlook in such pessimistic situations. 1. i found a long lost primary school classmate on friendster. joy! [uhm.. no that's not his name. i was just merely expressing my excitement nonverbally.] who am i kidding? this isn't just any primary school classmate. i used to have the

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1106616898370999922005-01-25T09:04:00.000+08:002005-01-25T09:34:58.370+08:00

more than once. that's progress right there. they wanted me to improve socially didn't they. silly appraisals. it's all the more stupid when they give you that little disclaimer right before they start off the crap claiming that 'this is all just procedure. i repeat, only a procedure.' talking to robert is fun. he bitches with the arrogance of a pompous blueblood. which is hilarious, really. i

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1104315071505255152004-12-29T18:01:00.000+08:002004-12-29T18:11:11.506+08:00

i should have taken all those times i drop things or knock into things more seriously instead of just laughing it off as i always do. apparently i've been asleep all these while. issue highlighted by the fact that i drove a bunch of colleagues out for supper and succeeded in locking my car with the keys still in the ignition and the engine still running and not realising so until 45 minutes

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1101967264004353462004-12-02T13:40:00.000+08:002004-12-02T14:01:04.003+08:00

neil buchanan has manicured nails. i woke up this afternoon to find that i have been climbing ladders again and have fallen asleep hanging on a rung. you looked down and said hello and simply clambered further up the ladder. i keep forgetting what we're climbing towards. on the thirteenth day of christmas my true love gave to me 13 things off my wish list that i actually want and not a whole

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1100336665868133622004-11-13T16:41:00.000+08:002004-11-13T17:04:25.866+08:00

that up there is probably French so bad you're all laughing. i have been "blessed" by the presence of two rather interesting beings lately. at work. supper's almost always entertaining not because of the fact that we seem to have so much to talk about but because of what they see. this is the land where a girl must have a boyfriend and should be slim. i have been asked if i am happy with life. if

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1098436959665066952004-10-22T17:07:00.001+08:002004-10-22T17:24:02.116+08:00

i'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. sometimes one just gets lazy like that. as if dressing up takes up all the energy in you. by the way, my hair is in its worst state. i don't think bad hair days can get any worse. i made a choice. i chose not to swap workdays with a colleague. she wanted someone to work for her friday night and she would work for me saturday morning. in doing so, i would

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1097539222795036972004-10-12T07:52:00.000+08:002004-10-12T08:00:22.796+08:00

guess what i would be running away from. my best friend said i would run from the balloons and the swamp monster would run away from me. i never really realise how much of a balloon phobic i really am until last friday. but i suppose the whole thing was played up due to the fact that there were 13 people in a tiny meeting room made for 5. and there were 9 other people blowing up balloons happily

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1096916025089964882004-10-05T02:26:00.000+08:002004-10-05T02:53:45.090+08:00

sometimes it's not that i forget. it's just that i can't be arsed. case in point this journal here. i ain't feelin' it, yo. *flashes finger signs for effect* but anyway, just for kicks... i got a new fish today. haven't named it yet but i'm picking up bully vibes from it. it picks on the older one. c'mon! stand up for yourself you bug-eyed uh... fish. yeah.. it's sort of difficult to talk about

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1096378909578997462004-09-28T21:16:00.000+08:002004-09-29T01:20:04.406+08:00

firstly, what i said about all rearing to go in the previous post, that was bullshit. apparently western medication makes you feel like shit. and i spiralled into an awful awful sedated grogginess coupled with the inability to breathe, eat, sleep, think and speak. but yeah, i'm ALL better now and i've even stopped sounding like a man. spending the day in bookstores is just not as fulfilling as it

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1094771519175253412004-09-10T06:57:00.000+08:002004-09-10T07:25:28.326+08:00

really, freedom? pfft. wake up. it doesn't exist. but let's not get into that this early in the morning. i still have a fully medicated/sedated head to nurse. deep thinking makes me pukey right now. i spent an entire hour ranting about hedonism in livejournal. most of that hour was spent either retyping typos or spazzing out momentarily but nobody really needed to know that thanks to the

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-1094479748558776482004-09-06T21:55:00.000+08:002004-09-06T22:09:08.556+08:00

so it took me more than a year to figure this thing out. i feel stupid, really. it's simple things like this that i fail to understand. i don't think blog publishing can get any simpler than blogger.com and/or diaryland.com yet i have never got around to figuring out the whole shebang. -_- i shall now comfort myself with the thought that i know how to refurbish real diaries with ribbons and

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5164246.post-907262072003-03-15T03:53:00.000+08:002004-09-06T21:55:21.686+08:00

i ask myself if all i really need right now is another weblog/journal. the past few months have been a rather odd collection of experiences. all of which has led me to question my purpose of life ... and the people around me. i feel like frizzy hair. i'm there but i'm all over. perhaps it's good that i'm unemployed right now. gives me time to compose myself... rejuvenate and condition so to

jasminhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12578419741591400429noreply@blogger.com