i should have taken all those times i drop things or knock into things more seriously instead of just laughing it off as i always do. apparently i've been asleep all these while. issue highlighted by the fact that i drove a bunch of colleagues out for supper and succeeded in locking my car with the keys still in the ignition and the engine still running and not realising so until 45 minutes later when we're about to leave and i realised that i do not have my car keys with me. stranger still was that i made sure i manually locked all the doors before getting out. but that's ok. otherwise the night would have been just another boring work night.
i come with a boxful of smiley bandages to cover up all the wounds and scars. everything will be okay.
sometimes all it takes is one phone call to make you realise that you need to get your behind out of the place and into something completely different. this isn't something that you can replace with a newly pierced tongue.
nothing's really as complicated as you want it to be. let's keep it simple and boil everything down to hormones. hormones are fucked up and since we are all made up of a whole load of hormones, we're all fucked up. that's scientific hypothesis for ya.
20041229
20041202
spin rinse repeat forget
neil buchanan has manicured nails.
i woke up this afternoon to find that i have been climbing ladders again and have fallen asleep hanging on a rung. you looked down and said hello and simply clambered further up the ladder. i keep forgetting what we're climbing towards.
on the thirteenth day of christmas my true love gave to me 13 things off my wish list that i actually want and not a whole gaggle of rubbish i find no use for like dancing maids and birds on trees.
19 minutes to down a burger, boil water and check out mother's 2005 fashion collection.
i woke up this afternoon to find that i have been climbing ladders again and have fallen asleep hanging on a rung. you looked down and said hello and simply clambered further up the ladder. i keep forgetting what we're climbing towards.
on the thirteenth day of christmas my true love gave to me 13 things off my wish list that i actually want and not a whole gaggle of rubbish i find no use for like dancing maids and birds on trees.
19 minutes to down a burger, boil water and check out mother's 2005 fashion collection.
20041113
la politique des collègues
that up there is probably French so bad you're all laughing.
i have been "blessed" by the presence of two rather interesting beings lately. at work. supper's almost always entertaining not because of the fact that we seem to have so much to talk about but because of what they see. this is the land where a girl must have a boyfriend and should be slim. i have been asked if i am happy with life. if i am desperate for a relationship. i used to go to a school where there were lots of lesbians. you're not one are you? and pertaining to my weight gain back when in was 14, when did the disaster happen? to which i said oh honey, no no no, this, is not a disaster. of course i could have done the whole fabulous diva impersonation, but i was driving. amusing people, nonetheless. of all the 11 months i've been around, 'weight' seem to be one of their favourite topic. it usually consists of one or more of them complaining about gaining weight. ironically, this is most often done on the way out for a meal or over a plate of food.
do you blame me for being quiet at work?
on a lighter note, chicken's roasting in the oven and i have to get ready for work. primp and preen, baby. tonight will be a bore, but i'm fine because i have one side of the plastic cup and string telephone and you have the other. holler when you're alive. i <3 you. mmm... cookies...
i have been "blessed" by the presence of two rather interesting beings lately. at work. supper's almost always entertaining not because of the fact that we seem to have so much to talk about but because of what they see. this is the land where a girl must have a boyfriend and should be slim. i have been asked if i am happy with life. if i am desperate for a relationship. i used to go to a school where there were lots of lesbians. you're not one are you? and pertaining to my weight gain back when in was 14, when did the disaster happen? to which i said oh honey, no no no, this, is not a disaster. of course i could have done the whole fabulous diva impersonation, but i was driving. amusing people, nonetheless. of all the 11 months i've been around, 'weight' seem to be one of their favourite topic. it usually consists of one or more of them complaining about gaining weight. ironically, this is most often done on the way out for a meal or over a plate of food.
do you blame me for being quiet at work?
on a lighter note, chicken's roasting in the oven and i have to get ready for work. primp and preen, baby. tonight will be a bore, but i'm fine because i have one side of the plastic cup and string telephone and you have the other. holler when you're alive. i <3 you. mmm... cookies...
20041022
stupid lazy lung eater
i'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. sometimes one just gets lazy like that. as if dressing up takes up all the energy in you. by the way, my hair is in its worst state. i don't think bad hair days can get any worse.
i made a choice. i chose not to swap workdays with a colleague. she wanted someone to work for her friday night and she would work for me saturday morning. in doing so, i would have had ample time to spend getting ready for dinner and a night out with the girls. and boy. and in doing so, i would also get to pig out on more break fast feast with the colleagues. but no. i chose to work saturday morning just so i could spend twelve hours in the same room as him. that's so stupid.
in other news, i ate deep fried cow's lung yesterday. it tasted suspiciously like burnt foundation applicator. maybe spongebob would taste like that if he got all dried up in the sun.
people at work have been asking the same damn question: who do you dislike most in this department? like i'm going to crack and give out names and morbid details of what i wish to do to certain people. please. however, i would have liked to ask him what sort of gossips have been going around about me. maybe i will. would make a nice conversation piece. i'm so pathetic.
i made a choice. i chose not to swap workdays with a colleague. she wanted someone to work for her friday night and she would work for me saturday morning. in doing so, i would have had ample time to spend getting ready for dinner and a night out with the girls. and boy. and in doing so, i would also get to pig out on more break fast feast with the colleagues. but no. i chose to work saturday morning just so i could spend twelve hours in the same room as him. that's so stupid.
in other news, i ate deep fried cow's lung yesterday. it tasted suspiciously like burnt foundation applicator. maybe spongebob would taste like that if he got all dried up in the sun.
people at work have been asking the same damn question: who do you dislike most in this department? like i'm going to crack and give out names and morbid details of what i wish to do to certain people. please. however, i would have liked to ask him what sort of gossips have been going around about me. maybe i will. would make a nice conversation piece. i'm so pathetic.
20041012
swamp monsters with balloons
guess what i would be running away from. my best friend said i would run from the balloons and the swamp monster would run away from me. i never really realise how much of a balloon phobic i really am until last friday. but i suppose the whole thing was played up due to the fact that there were 13 people in a tiny meeting room made for 5. and there were 9 other people blowing up balloons happily obilivious to the possibility of one popping in such a small space. can you imagine the sound? O.o i spent the next few minutes wincing. and the rest of the morning jumping each time the biggest balloon roll gently over the bunch of candies on the table [the candies had sharp looking wrappers. i'm sorry, but balloons really should be enjoyed from afar.
i begged the person sitting next to me not to blow his up too big. he laughed. then someone else laughed because my balloon was the tiniest. given the opportunity, i wouldn't have blown it up at all. but since it was a seminar and all that.... certain sacrifices had to be made.
sometimes i think, possibly maybe, people move along life's road walking backwards. and because they do not see what's behind them, they have a tendency of running into things.
i begged the person sitting next to me not to blow his up too big. he laughed. then someone else laughed because my balloon was the tiniest. given the opportunity, i wouldn't have blown it up at all. but since it was a seminar and all that.... certain sacrifices had to be made.
sometimes i think, possibly maybe, people move along life's road walking backwards. and because they do not see what's behind them, they have a tendency of running into things.
20041005
balloons are pretty from afar
sometimes it's not that i forget. it's just that i can't be arsed. case in point this journal here. i ain't feelin' it, yo. *flashes finger signs for effect*
but anyway, just for kicks...
i got a new fish today. haven't named it yet but i'm picking up bully vibes from it. it picks on the older one. c'mon! stand up for yourself you bug-eyed uh... fish. yeah.. it's sort of difficult to talk about them when they don't have names.
i think i'm starting to have intimacy issues again. -_- no no. i meant in the sense of getting to be better friends with someone of the opposite sex. *sigh* i do NOT even want to go there and psychoanalyse it all over again. THAT was a waste of time.
yesterday, there was a clown. he wore old ronald mcDonald's shoes [oh yeah. i know it from a mile away. you guys got it on discount from an old mcdonald's restaurant didn't you?] and a Mambo shirt with pissed drunk kangaroo, emu and koala passed out under an eucalyptus tree. and emblazoned on the back of his shirt is the australian emblem, Mambo-ed of course. with a drunk emu and kangaroo framing a can of Mambo Bitter instead of the good old australian emblem thingy that usually goes in the middle. pretty decent shirt to be wearing around kids yes? but he was cute. told me i had to pay if i was going to take a picture of him. bad makeup though.
yeah... that's about it. until the next time i run out of other stuff to do online and end up here again, ta.
but anyway, just for kicks...
i got a new fish today. haven't named it yet but i'm picking up bully vibes from it. it picks on the older one. c'mon! stand up for yourself you bug-eyed uh... fish. yeah.. it's sort of difficult to talk about them when they don't have names.
i think i'm starting to have intimacy issues again. -_- no no. i meant in the sense of getting to be better friends with someone of the opposite sex. *sigh* i do NOT even want to go there and psychoanalyse it all over again. THAT was a waste of time.
yesterday, there was a clown. he wore old ronald mcDonald's shoes [oh yeah. i know it from a mile away. you guys got it on discount from an old mcdonald's restaurant didn't you?] and a Mambo shirt with pissed drunk kangaroo, emu and koala passed out under an eucalyptus tree. and emblazoned on the back of his shirt is the australian emblem, Mambo-ed of course. with a drunk emu and kangaroo framing a can of Mambo Bitter instead of the good old australian emblem thingy that usually goes in the middle. pretty decent shirt to be wearing around kids yes? but he was cute. told me i had to pay if i was going to take a picture of him. bad makeup though.
yeah... that's about it. until the next time i run out of other stuff to do online and end up here again, ta.
20040928
cakes and tea, sir?
firstly, what i said about all rearing to go in the previous post, that was bullshit. apparently western medication makes you feel like shit. and i spiralled into an awful awful sedated grogginess coupled with the inability to breathe, eat, sleep, think and speak.
but yeah, i'm ALL better now and i've even stopped sounding like a man.
spending the day in bookstores is just not as fulfilling as it used to be. 1. because seeing all the books that i cannot afford to purchase is depressing. 2. they never have the books i really want. 3. i have too many books to catch up with at home and hence i'm left in a frenzied confusion of where to start, what to read, what to buy and how much to spend. maybe i'm just old and boring.
lately i'm often left wondering why i am not able to tell stories like i used to. those quirky rambly ones that never made sense to anyone including me after awhile. one thought that keeps popping up is that my muse, my oh so beautiful remy has died somehow. misplaced, maybe. lost like a little child in a big shopping mall, waiting for the mallpeople to announce his being lost. i'm still waiting to hear his name being whispered. i have pretty smelling lilies waiting, wrapped in green tissue paper, to lay on remy's grave.
poor child. penelope is nothing like you, but she's just as wonderful. well, almost. she hasn't said anything yet, but you can tell that she would. and like you, she's so beautiful.
mummy made me crushed ice with fruits. it tastes lovely. too bad i cannot cuddle up in it and feel all safe like i would if i cuddle up to a dead bear beside a roaring fireplace. i'm saving the peaches for last.
but yeah, i'm ALL better now and i've even stopped sounding like a man.
spending the day in bookstores is just not as fulfilling as it used to be. 1. because seeing all the books that i cannot afford to purchase is depressing. 2. they never have the books i really want. 3. i have too many books to catch up with at home and hence i'm left in a frenzied confusion of where to start, what to read, what to buy and how much to spend. maybe i'm just old and boring.
lately i'm often left wondering why i am not able to tell stories like i used to. those quirky rambly ones that never made sense to anyone including me after awhile. one thought that keeps popping up is that my muse, my oh so beautiful remy has died somehow. misplaced, maybe. lost like a little child in a big shopping mall, waiting for the mallpeople to announce his being lost. i'm still waiting to hear his name being whispered. i have pretty smelling lilies waiting, wrapped in green tissue paper, to lay on remy's grave.
poor child. penelope is nothing like you, but she's just as wonderful. well, almost. she hasn't said anything yet, but you can tell that she would. and like you, she's so beautiful.
mummy made me crushed ice with fruits. it tastes lovely. too bad i cannot cuddle up in it and feel all safe like i would if i cuddle up to a dead bear beside a roaring fireplace. i'm saving the peaches for last.
20040910
that bitter taste in your mouth, the sweet sweet feeling of freedom
really, freedom? pfft. wake up. it doesn't exist. but let's not get into that this early in the morning. i still have a fully medicated/sedated head to nurse. deep thinking makes me pukey right now.
i spent an entire hour ranting about hedonism in livejournal. most of that hour was spent either retyping typos or spazzing out momentarily but nobody really needed to know that thanks to the backspace key and that certain aloofness of online blogging. you know what depresses me? the self censorship that occurs unconsciously when one is writing. because someone might be reading what you write, you'll never come all out with your deepest darkest secrets. people might shun you, so you hide things. you don't like being ugly afterall.
anyway! i'm all better and all rearing to go. uh... right after i take that shower, that is.
by the way, money will not buy you cool. you're all just in fucking denial.
i spent an entire hour ranting about hedonism in livejournal. most of that hour was spent either retyping typos or spazzing out momentarily but nobody really needed to know that thanks to the backspace key and that certain aloofness of online blogging. you know what depresses me? the self censorship that occurs unconsciously when one is writing. because someone might be reading what you write, you'll never come all out with your deepest darkest secrets. people might shun you, so you hide things. you don't like being ugly afterall.
anyway! i'm all better and all rearing to go. uh... right after i take that shower, that is.
by the way, money will not buy you cool. you're all just in fucking denial.
20040906
ha. ha.
so it took me more than a year to figure this thing out. i feel stupid, really. it's simple things like this that i fail to understand. i don't think blog publishing can get any simpler than blogger.com and/or diaryland.com yet i have never got around to figuring out the whole shebang. -_- i shall now comfort myself with the thought that i know how to refurbish real diaries with ribbons and tissue paper and a whole load of pva glue. if that doesn't make me feel smarter, i don't know what will.
ok... i'm just kidding around.
next up: figure out how to link other people's journal and put up userpics.
i suck.
online journal count: most probably 8
online journal actually used: one. ok, three if you include this one which i would most probably forget that i own.
contemplated on whether to tweak journal codes and decided that i have better things to do like... gee... brushing my teeth and going to bed. maybe later when i'm REALLY enthused. then perhaps i'll even put up the new website i've been meaning to create.
i'm feeling sickly and it's been a while since i have anything to say that can beat "i feel like frizzy hair. i'm there but i'm all over". it makes one wonder what i was on back then and what i'm on right now. and frankly, i kinda miss being that melancholic little cynic.
ok... i'm just kidding around.
next up: figure out how to link other people's journal and put up userpics.
i suck.
online journal count: most probably 8
online journal actually used: one. ok, three if you include this one which i would most probably forget that i own.
contemplated on whether to tweak journal codes and decided that i have better things to do like... gee... brushing my teeth and going to bed. maybe later when i'm REALLY enthused. then perhaps i'll even put up the new website i've been meaning to create.
i'm feeling sickly and it's been a while since i have anything to say that can beat "i feel like frizzy hair. i'm there but i'm all over". it makes one wonder what i was on back then and what i'm on right now. and frankly, i kinda miss being that melancholic little cynic.
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